Lightning bug

I went out for a smoke tonight. A couple wine glasses in - it’s ritual. I wanted to get my cigarette in before I cleansed myself of my sin. The sin you ask? Today it was sloth. I did absolutely nothing today and honestly, nothing makes me feel worse. I just sat in laziness and it’s not relaxing but anyways that’s not the point of this post. I went outside for a smoke, thunderstorms flashed lightning in the distance. The small town sat still and reeked of rain. A lightning bug flashed near me. It captured my attention as it was the only light in the darkness. Alone, it flashed across the plain of existence. I looked around and it was the only lightning bug in sight. The only reason they light up is due to a search for a mate or less likely it was defensive, warning predators of its toxic nature. Hmm. I’ve never related to a bug more in my life. I’d like to believe it’s a Clint Eastwood type from a Fistful of Dollars.. just wandering - seeing where existence takes him. And the biological definitions are the equivalent of our societal norms we operate in. A true rebel. That sounds better to me anyways because an insect searching for his biological duty in an empty terrain that doesn’t offer what he needs is something I couldn’t handle at the moment. Imagine being trapped in a wasteland searching for a purpose that doesn’t exist anymore. That’s hell.